Its Official!

I'm FAT!

I tried to put on my jean capris that I bought last year from Ann Taylor Loft before my honeymoon. Here is me in them on my honeymoon.

I must admit that I did wear them a lot last year, but still. I could not button or zip them up! They are a size 4P!

I am a 6!Now as I have said before a size 6 sounds small to most people, but most people are not barely 5'1", most people don't wear a size 6 shoe, they are not petite. I used to be. Well technically I'm still petite because I am short, but I no longer have that tiny waist that I used to have, that I was so proud of. That I thought I would never lose.

I remember being in 8th grade and not wanting to go shopping because I couldn't fit in Juniors sizes, but the kids sized clothes looked too young. My favorite store was 5-7-9 and I wore a 0. I even have size 0 jeans from college. The biggest I was in College was a 2. I can't believe 5 years later I'm in a 6!!

When I started dating DH (well I was 20), I weighed less than 100 pounds. I do not even want to know how much I weigh now. I'd guess like 130 (I hope its more like 125, I guess I'll have to find out when I go to the gyno in the next 2 months ugg!!). At my lowest in College (while dating DH) I weighed like 93 pounds. No more!

I just looked at pictures from my sister's wedding and it makes me sick how f'in skinny I was. I tried that dress on last year (when I bought those capris) and couldn't fit it over my thighs. DH and I had already been dating a year at the time of my sister's July 2006 wedding. Look at this skinny b*tch!

I think this next picture could not say more of how far I've come from that skinny b*tch.



I think this is going to be one of the hardest years of my life. Between my Gamma having cancer, my husband losing the crappy job he did have, me graduating law school and taking the BAR and having to find a job. Oh did I mention DH also has a JD - so no worth it!! If you are thinking about going to law school, don't. At least not yet or if you will have any kind of student loans afterward. I didn't have any student loans after undergrad, I was lucky the state paid for my college and my parents paid my living expenses. Law school was way too expensive for anyone to pay for (thanks private school) so I have loans. I tried to not take out too much, but its still a lot and lots of scary payments coming up!

I think I really need to try to do the Special K diet, like I keep saying I will do. I also need my back to get better so I can start working out on the Wii Fit again.

Then sometimes I think why lose weight when I want to have a baby in 2 years. But will that actually happen, I hope it will, I hope jobs come our way!

The year isn't half way through and I can't wait for it to be over!

I'm glad my husband always laughs at me when I say I'm fat and tells me that I'm still small and that I'm beautiful.

I've been in a bad mood today. My booty still hurts from my accident along with my lower back. DH did our taxes and we owe money (stupid self employment tax). I have court on Thursday and I doubt its going to go very well. Finals have snuck up on me again and my first one is April 28, yes a mere two weeks away.

I doubt I could make it through days like this without crying if I didn't have him.

Even with all our outside problems at least we love and have each other.