The Do-Everything Mom

Yesterday I finally felt like I could be the do-everything Mom, I've always wanted to be. I haven't felt that way in a while.

As a little girl, I always wondered what kind of Mom I'd be. I think a lot of little girls dream of being a Mom. I decided then that I wanted to be the Do-Everything Mom. I wanted to be able to do it all - have a great career, take the kids to their after school activities, and have a nice house. My vision of this was me in a suit carrying laundry down the stairs. As a dreamer, I never thought that this wouldn't be possible.

Law school, however, crushes many dreams! It makes you feel powerless and like you can't do anything. Since I started law school, I haven't even thought of the do-everything Mom. I guess she was put on the back burner when I believed that that kind of person could not exist, let alone be a Mom too.

I've been in a funk lately, with no motivation at all. Its been hard to wake up and get out of bed. I'm not a morning person, but this has been worse.

Yesterday, I had a rough draft of a paper due. I hadn't finished it the night before, so I knew I would have to work on it early in the morning. This time I would usually use to prepare for my classes. I also had a meeting with my Clinic Professor and had to get ready for that. The night before I thought I would have to skip my class and that I would not be able to do anything for clinic. Well, when my alarm went off, I got out of bed and got dressed and left. I got to school early enough to get a good parking spot (the parking is all street parking and it is terrible!). I went up to my usual spot in the library and it was all empty. I sat down and took out my computer. I didn't go on the internet and play around, I didn't play on my iPhone, I worked. I finished writing my rough draft and another assignment on a writing reflection for the same class all before 10 am! I was then able to read for my class, so I didn't have to skip it! I finished this all in enough time to go to the Clinic office and prepare for my meeting!

I was so proud of myself. I finally felt like I could do everything. That not everything will defeat me! I did realize that I never got eat during all this time, but I had coffee and did eat two pieces of candy. That didn't really matter because for once after a long time of not feeling it, I felt empowered.

I don't have any kids and don't plan on having any for a while and I've never even babysat, so the whole child-rearing part of this do-everything Mom is still up in the air. But for a moment, I felt like I could make it, like I could do everything.

Only time will tell, but this one moment made me feel like my future isn't as bleak as I thought and believed it would be. Hope is a nice feeling to have.