Oh no, can I pause?

After my first semester of law school, I couldn't wait to graduate, get a job and live in the real world. DH and I had so many dreams and plans for what our lives would be like now. They are now all shot to sh!t because of the economy.

Early during the Fall Semester, I was let go from my little law clerk job I had had since the summer after my first year in law school. They had two law clerks and they really didn't need both of us and I could only work maybe 10 hours a week and the other clerk had already passed the BAR. So, I can't say I was surprised or even really disappointed. I have since learned that they also let the other girl go after me.

DH had a very precarious job situation, making very little money until January when his boss finally decided to stop working. I can't blame his boss. The boss' wife was diagnosed with cancer in an advanced stage. The boss himself was in his 70s. He should be retired. He should spend time with and take care of his wife while she is going through this rough time.

Since then DH did get a project from my old boss which kept him busy for a little while. He is still waiting to get paid the rest of the money from this project. DH has also been working on random projects/ventures with one of his friends (random projects that no one gets paid for that is).

But now, the reality of the situation is that we have essentially no income and part of my loans are beginning repayment. As in I had to make a payment today!

I'm really thinking about doing income based repayment. So many people say why would you do that, you wind up paying so much more interest in the long run. Well to them I say, do you have an extra "a whole lot of money" a month? because I'm pretty sure you don't and if you do you are very lucky. And that does not include DH's loans, because guess what he went to law school too. Although he did go to much less expensive one than I did (I went to a private school and DH went to a public one) (I was wait listed for the public one because I can't do well on a standardized test to save my life [even though I graduated early from college and with a 3.896 GPA] and thought oh I'll be able to get some kind of job after law school - NOT!!).

So my feelings as of today are please let me pause life until I have a good job and can pay all these bills. My future just seems too bleak to deal with.

How are we ever going to buy a house or new cars or afford to have a baby when this is our situation?

I'm hoping some good luck (in the form of a job or two jobs) comes our way so that we can proceed with our lives.

The real world is much too real for me, please, please, let me pause!!!

oh and ps: why would I want to finish this last final when this is my future?